Out of Balance
by Lyn Gala
Publisher: not published
Scene Setting: Modern Day
Sub Genre: BDSM
Book Cover Rating: 4.5
College students Jeremy and Ryan both have rocky pasts, but when Ryan discovers his friend has a dangerous fascination for gay bondage, he decides to show Jeremy that giving up control isn’t safe or sexy. The plan backfires and now both men have to deal with secrets from the past and a relationship in trouble. Warning: this is an adult novel and includes explicit scenes with self-bondage, BDSM, and homosexual sex.
Before I begin this review I want to take a moment and let you know that this title is not yet available but it is being looked at by publishers for publication.
Out of Balance is one of the boldest BDSM stories I’ve read, and I don’t mean that in a bad way. It’s intense, it’s extreme, it’s a challenge especially if you don’t care for BDSM and if you simply must have loads of romance in your stories, this one isn’t for you.
Ryan is a young man who shares an apartment with Jeremy and one night Ryan comes in drunk and basically passes out on a chair in the dining room, that serves as the study for the two young men. Well, unbeknownst to Ryan, his roomie Jeremy quietly waits in the hallway and has a fantasy of being Ryan’s slave, he allows the fantasy to consume him and before he knew it, he found himself on his knees beside a passed out Ryan, pretending Ryan was his master. His intentions were good, he just wanted to help his drunk friend to bed, so he starts by taking off his shoes and socks, even going as far as kissing his feet. Ryan remained unconscious, so Jeremy decided to take it one step further by undoing Ryan’s jeans and releasing the other man’s hardening uhh…well you get it…Suddenly Jeremy isn’t able to stop himself and he takes Ryan in his mouth and goes about his business, giving pleasure to the drunken roomie. Ryan doesn’t wake, not even when he finds release but let me just tell you, he sure found out what happened and this event is what sets the plot into motion.
Ryan, I found out is in therapy, because as a young boy, he was the victim of a brutal nasty pig of a man who not only raped him, but also introduced the kid to BDSM before the kid even had a chance to understand what any of it really meant. Apparently it was the doings of a family member to give him away to a very controlling wealthy man who got off on this sort of behavior known as Pedophilia. Young Ryan had no chance against the older man, and after years of suffering in his hands, Ryan’s own sexuality and ideas suffered greatly.
Ryan was sure he was straight, and dated only women, in fact during the scene where Jeremy catches him drunk, he cries out his girlfriends name when it’s Jeremy on his knees. However, Ryan is struggling with his true sexual needs and it’s part of the reason he has a therapist that his true father pays for. Ryan hates his real father and who could blame him? He’s the jerk who sent his only son into the arms of a madman. So now the father feels guilt and pays dearly for the therapy Ryan has, even paying for erotic BDSM toys that Ryan’s therapist encourages him to buy so he can come to terms with the items.
Well, when Ryan wakes up the morning after Jeremy did his deed, he is irate. He sees that the whole scene was recorded on the computer. When Jeremy gets up and figures out that Ryan knows he about had a heart attack. For several years Jeremy has hidden his love for Ryan, because Ryan is straight and now Jeremy’s cover is blown. As Jeremy is freaking out about what to do, he finds a note from Ryan. Basically it tells him that he has two choices. 1- become Ryan’s slave, 2- turn himself over to the police.
Jeremy’s dream or wish comes true. He elects to become Ryan’s slave and boy oh boy are we taken on a BDSM journey. Now the one thing I must point out is that the author does state right at the start a very clear warning. As taken from the story:
“BDSM fantasy stories ARE NOT the same as real relationships. My characters openly break some pretty basic rules because, hey, they aren’t real! It’s pretty easy to heal someone who exists only as ink on paper.”
Never leave someone tied up and alone because having someone you love in the agony of a muscle cramp and unable to get loose is just not funny.
Never start a scene or engage in sexual acts without discussing the boundaries FIRST. If you can’t talk about it, you shouldn’t be playing with it!
Always stop and ASK your partner how he or she is doing. You aren’t an author writing in an omnipotent point of view, so you don’t know what’s going on in someone’s head— and that means you don’t know if they’re too caught up in the scene to actually use a safe word. Stop and ask your partner where he or she is in relation to limits.
Speaking of… always establish a safe word before you start playing. There needs to be a way to stop the scene the minute something goes wrong–no debate, no hesitation.
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER play with someone who causes you harm, ignores your limits, changes the rules without negotiation, makes you feel less important, tries to cut you off from other people, or claims to want to “stretch your boundaries” after you’ve said no.
That’s not BDSM; that’s abuse.
Given that opening, I was wide open to read what the author put on paper and allowed myself to just get into the story without cringing and throwing the e-reader around at the thoughts that someone could be so cruel. I too write as Lyn does. I write fiction, it’s made up. The characters are not “really” hurt. So, going on that I was just chomping at the bit to read another of Lyn’s masterpieces.
Jeremy becomes Ryan’s slave and wow; I am still just saying wow. Ryan and Jeremy are both very young and Ryan has all the basics of being a great Master, but he has very little control. He gets too caught up in his past and it’s that past that almost destroys Jeremy. Jeremy is a big guy, ex-football player with a bum knee, and he’s a submissive. One can clearly see that no matter what Ryan tells Jeremy to do, or what he does to Jeremy that Jeremy has no limits. He is into pain, and he is into Ryan. He calls him Master and means it with all he is.
However, Ryan, who finds he really likes being a Master to Jeremy, and Jeremy enjoys the pain Ryan, can give him. Well, things aren’t as easy as that. Ryan’s mind isn’t fully capable of leaving the past where it belongs, and his memories haunt him, and this leads him into a bad scene with Jeremy where Jeremy was almost injured. Not only does Ryan realize he truly is gay, he also realizes he needs more help and needs to get away from Jeremy immediately. He releases Jeremy and frees him of the six month contract and disappears. He leaves behind a very confused and hurt Jeremy and for two years Jeremy went from a vibrant young man to a miserable man who could find no release with anyone sexually unless they were literally making him sob in pain. He felt he needed punishing and this all stems from his own childhood and his father. (Oh what is up with these shitty fathers?)
Two years pass before Jeremy sees his Master again and though I had a hard time feeling true love between the two characters, I did connect with them because you know what? Not every story I read has to have that deep true everlasting love.
The author holds nothing back and allows her imagination to soar, and when I read some of the punishments, or the items that Jeremy had to wear my eyes opened up wider and I read more and more. WOW. Just remember the clear warning Lyn gives us when you take the plunge.